Many of my life lessons always start with a dream which is a direct reflection of my life on earth, so bear with me as I take you through this dream. On the 15th of August 2021 in a dream, a man was explaining a newspaper article to me. This article was about a male housemaid who sued his employer, because he found “inappropriate things”, as mentioned in article but I just knew it meant sexual items. Th maid was so angry that he found these items, and no one told him, so he sued employer and won the case. The maid received a hefty amount to settle him for life.
I then said to the man who was showing me the article, how is it possible for a maid to win such a case. He was paid to clean the house not worry about what items he may find in the house, at the same time I also said, the employer could have at least packed those things, he knew someone was coming to clean the house. But my opinion didn’t end there, because I then said if the maid didn’t find the “inappropriate things” that means they didn’t thoroughly clean the house. I ended telling this man, I don’t know whose right or wrong.
I jumped out of my bed and I wanted to start binding and rebuking the spirit of lust, it had been months since I’ve felt that desire, but I realised God was revealing something about me or anyone else who can relate.
We have sins in our lives that are not public to people, and when we come to Christ and accept Him as our Lord and Saviour, we receive the Holy Spirit and this Spirit helps and guides us with our lives here on earth but not only that it also cleanses us from ALL filth. When I rededicated my life to Christ, masturbation was one the strongest yokes in my life but not stronger than God, Hallelujah!
I started masturbating while I was still a child probably when I was about 7 years old, no one taught me but I just knew how to masturbate. I only lost my virginity years later when I was about 17 years old but could never be satisfied until I masturbated. This sin had such a hold on me even before I could feel affection for men. It’s yoke was so strong to such an extent that one night the desire came heavy on me to masturbate, and I started crying because I knew I didn’t have power over this desire which was actually a spirit, and so I masturbated in tears after doing that, I just laid on the bed and said “God I don’t want to do this but I don’t know how to stop”, from that day on God started bringing articles that I would read and seeing videos pop up of people who struggled with this and overcame it.
I rededicated my life to Christ and vowed to abstinence. The attacks became aggressive now, one pivotal point of overcoming this spirit that would cause me to masturbate, was while sleeping in a dream, a beautiful lady came to me and I knew she was coming to have sex with me and that night I had the courage to say “No” and she just stopped and looked at me in such a shock that I could say “No”, she took a few steps back and said “ I’ll be back” and I told her “I’ll be ready for you”, John 8:36 became my anthem. I’m telling all this so you can know that masturbation is not healthy or normal, in the way the world has normalised it with all the sex toys and content available. It is a demonic spirit causing you to sin and preventing the Holy Spirit from moving in your life.
This dream that was about the employer being sued for the “inappropriate things” in his the house took me to 1 Thessalonians 5: 19 “Do not quench the Spirit” and in this case sin which was hidden quenched the Holy Spirit. Proverbs 28: 13 “Whoever conceals their sin does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy” and hit me. Though I had repented from masturbation, it was still hidden. Not to say I should scream form the roof top but I would deliberately not say anything about this topic because I was a ashamed, I had fear of what people would say. That I was a Christian who would sing in the choir and the first thing I did in the morning before getting on stage to sing praise and worship is masturbate. I was ashamed to say when I rededicated my life to Christ, my addiction wasn’t alcohol or drugs but it was masturbation. 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love”.
I concealed it and therefore it still had power over me and the devil could use it against me, before God and my Great Advocate who is Jesus Christ 1 John 2:1 “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous” , I prevented Him from defending me because I had quenched the Holy Spirit from cleansing me from all unrighteousness, because this sin was still concealed.
Take some time to read Hebrews chapter 9 and 10 it truly blessed me, when it comes to understanding the forgiveness of sins and walking in freedom. I will only highlight Hebrews 10: 17-18 “ Then he adds ”Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more”. And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary”. By the blood of Jesus Christ we have been forgiven, we just need to accept this forgiveness, that has been given to us freely.
Hebrews 10: 39 “ But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved,”
Walk in freedom, do not allow your past sin to keep you in punishment. Even if people remind you of your old self, don’t be ashamed of it, that is your testimony to glorify our Lord and opportunity to spread the gospel!
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